SCX-Scanlations

The Second History

It has been many years (chapters) since our great progenitor (I use this title without the slightest bit of sarcasm, and a lot of artistic license) last set aside his pen, the results which can be seen above, and “went silently into that good night.” If only it were so, as that great progenitor seems to have taken on a rather peculiar personality during his years as a hermit: like the aging opera singer, he constantly reappears to seek a final ovation, and like the Tricksters of ancient lore, every now and then, he appears in the form of a prospective citizen of #detcetorp, to the chagrin of one young citizen in particular, who is patiently awaiting him in the city graveyard, where he hopes to accelerate our great progenitor’s ascension to history with a well-sharpened sword. But enough of city graveyards (which are completely full) and small legacies (which are better forgotten). There is much history to attend to.

The city of #detcetorp was, indeed, thrown into disarray after our great progenitor left. The description provided by him above is wholly accurate. His honesty is remarkable, considering the fact that it was his fault. The degradation of this once great city was demonstrated to its fullest with an invasion by the Musashi tribe, leading to the capture of the Tora Dora province, and complete annihilation of the #detcetorp Grande Armée. Had the Musashi tribe procured the services of a half-decent navigator, then this history would be quite different. Fortunately, they lost themselves in the Great Forest of Translation (for this, we have Queen Ami, Guardian of the Forest to thank for her tireless effort in rearranging signs and making some of them up completely) while on their way to #detcetorp, and decided to advance no further.

However, time has, after much coercion, healed this city, though some scars remain. Allow me to specify. The supply of absinthe has run out long ago, the countryside being completely stripped of anise, one of the herbs essential to its manufacture. Riots immediately ensued, which would have been put down by ten thousand well disciplined troops. Unfortunately, #detcetorp had no well disciplined troops, much less troops of any kind whatsoever. However, the citizens of #detcetorp, finally aware (after their hangovers) that absinthe was forever gone, in their never-ending quest for intoxication, aided by their natural curiosity and severely battered and bruised brains, switched to alcohol as a new vice, which is easily made and can be consumed in large quantities before aftereffects appear, in an excellent demonstration of why water can never be the principal drink of the people. And as for syphilis: a certain invention which poses no ill-effects to the health, though possibly to the pleasure, has all but eradicated this disease, with the unfortunate side-effect of increased promiscuity amongst the populance, if that is at all possible. However, despite the replacement of two old vices with two new ones, the citizens of #detcetorp (Onizukaa, Lolininja, etc.) desired more, and more came in the form of eroges, which are available to all (translators) and are imported in record numbers, across the sea, from lands in the East.

And what of the unlucky leaders who took control of this mess, and dragged #detcetorp, kicking and screaming, back to its former glory? The city of #detcetorp, briefly taken in by democracy, republicanism and bureaucracy, under no individual in particular, found that it brought upon individual citizens too much responsibility (and work had to be done quickly), and through a well-executed and popular revolution, became an Empire. Under Our Dear Ojou-sama Empress Lenners the Tsundere, First of the SCX Dynasty (may it last a thousand years, etc. etc.), and her iron rule over the city and its inhabitants, #detcetorp has swelled to house hundreds (of thousands) of souls (leechers included), and prospers once more (An attempt to restore the bureaucracy, though in conjunction with the Empire, under a certain young Quality Controller, failed as: a) No one cared and b) It was simply too much work for one person, though much can be achieved with a plate of digestive biscuits). New citizens arrive by the cartload daily (Cypheriad, DrHibbits, and some other people I don’t know), bringing with them the sciences, cultures and, most importantly, gold, of faraway cities. Our Dear Ojou-sama (by Imperial Edict, we are to title her as such) has restored the city to its original splendour (though slightly tarnished at the edges) by forcing the populance to actually stop drinking and work (in commemoration of Our Dear Ojou-sama’s efforts, a short club with a series of metal studs attached to one end is called a “Lenny”), and has also rediscovered the lost art of sushi-making, with the assistance of learned (weeaboo) scholars from far-off lands. How Our Dear Ojou-sama came to know such people is a mystery to even the most knowledgeable of citizens, though her past remains shrouded in secrecy…

Despite #detcetorp’s return to greatness, aided greatly by temporarily exiling (kick-banning) Lazy LazyGamer (as titled by Imperial edict) (which instantly and miraculously cured several hundred headaches, and caused productivity to quadruple overnight), trouble still roams the vast lands surrounding #detcetorp. Barbarian invasions and droves of horribly-smelling recruits occur and arrive (respectively, though the opposite makes just as much sense) weekly and though they are all successfully rejected, citizens of #detcetorp live in a minor state of siege, not alleviated even by a certain miscreant’s posting of pornography on every public surface he could find.

The little boy, SkyKing, who introduced to the city the vice of scanlating, has grown up to become a man who, far from introducing further vices to the city, deigns to introduce war, through several well-executed diplomatic affronts. Had the leaders of Nihil Sine Nefas, a medium-sized city to #detcetorp’s west, been slightly less pacifist (or lazy), nothing short of a full-blown war would have occurred. Considering the current state of the #detcetorp Grande Armée, we would have lost. Utterly and completely. Thankfully, SkyKing has, for now, retreated into his mansion, though most probably in order to plot more chaos. But we have armed guards to deal with that.

To conclude this history of #detcetorp (I apologize, as that is impossible, I will alter the sentence somewhat). To conclude the Second History (the reason for such a title is thus: a) This is the Second part of the history of #detcetorp and b) The unfortunate author of this volume lacks even a sliver of creativity) of #detcetorp, a report on the current state of the city is in order. In general, production is high, stockpiles are good and the populance is happy. However, Our Dear Ojou-sama has, several times, been forced to threaten certain citizens with half-oping for unruly and disruptive behaviour, and has done so a few times. Otherwise, the citizens of #detcetorp are a mild-mannered assortment of lolicons, perverts, sexists, alcoholics, leechers and the like, who mean no harm and merely wish to take part in the prosperity of the great city of #detcetorp.

And of Mickey, who was briefly mentioned by our great progenitor: legends speak of a young woman, dressed in a maid cosplay, who suddenly appears out of nowhere, engages in conversation with complete strangers, and then leaves as quickly as she appears. These legends are difficult to confirm, as the massive increase in eroges has also caused a proportional increase in maid cosplays, nekomimi (Nyaa~), inumimi, and the like.

Cypheriad

Quality Controller
Typesetter
Historian